⚖️ A Dog is Taking on the Supreme Court?!

In Today’s Email:

• A dog’s traffic stop facing massive judicial scrutiny? Woof.

• Dog aging gets redefined: squash the ole x7 rule, y’all.

• “The Squeeze” aka The Internet’s Best Dog News in 60 seconds.

• The Last Laugh: What we’re laughing with. Not at.

The Supreme Court will decide if a police dog overstepped!

The highest court in all the land is deciding what?!

Petitioners are asking the U.S. Supreme Court to hear a case in which they claim a police K-9 officer violated the Constitution by jumping up and placing its paws on a vehicle during a traffic stop.

The case relates to Nero, a Belgian Malinois working as a police dog in Idaho. Nero uncovered meth residue and other drug paraphernalia during a search, but he also briefly jumped and placed his front paws onto the door of a car, which petitioners argue violated the Fourth Amendment's prohibition against "unreasonable searches."

Ok, meth supporters… plead your case?

The driver of the car, Kirby Dorff, was ultimately convicted on charges of felony drug possession. The Idaho Supreme Court tossed out Dorff's conviction in March, however, arguing that Nero's pounce onto the door constituted a "warrantless search."

Court records say police first pulled over Dorff after he made an erratic turn across three lanes of traffic in 2019. Nero arrived with his handler shortly after, and made two circuits around Dorff's vehicle. Nero jumped up several times during the second circuit.

After finding evidence of drug possession in the vehicle, police obtained a warrant to search Dorff's motel room, where they found more evidence, according to USA Today.

Idaho's Supreme Court found in a 3-2 ruling that while police K-9s are free to sniff the air around a given vehicle, they are not allowed to attempt to get inside the vehicle without a warrant.

This depends on your definition of “attempting to enter the vehicle”. Can a species without opposable thumbs really be held accountable for possible entry?

Well…

The court compared the situation to "the difference between a dog’s tail that brushes against the bumper of your vehicle as it walks by — and a dog who, without privilege or consent, approaches your vehicle to jump on its roof, sit on its hood, stand on its window or door."

Justices on the U.S. Supreme Court decide among themselves which cases to hear each term, so while it isn’t confirmed that Nero’s case will make the list, the case is gaining steam and raising eyebrows everywhere.

The high Court ruled in 2013 that it is unconstitutional for police to bring a drug search dog onto a suspect's property without a search warrant. With that precedent… Nero may be in trouble…

Scientists Just Redefined “Dog Aging”. Buckle Up.

Multiplying your age by seven just won’t cut it anymore, Carl.

Why? Well… by mapping molecular changes in the genome over time, UC San Diego researchers developed a formula to more accurately compare dog age to human age — a tool that could also help them evaluate how well anti-aging products work.

The old adage says, a four-year-old dog is similar in physiological age to a 28-year-old person.

A new study by researchers at University of California San Diego School of Medicine puts the old adage to rest.

Instead, they created a formula that more accurately compares the ages of humans and dogs. The formula is based on the changing patterns of methyl (derived from “methane” and found in many organic compounds) groups in dog and human genomes as they age. Since the two species don’t age at the same rate over their lifespans, it turns out it’s not a perfectly linear comparison, as the 1:7 years rule-of-thumb would suggest.

The new methylation-based formula is the first that is transferrable across species. More than just a parlor trick, the researchers say it may provide a useful tool for veterinarians, and for evaluating anti-aging interventions. Take that, skincare routines…

“There are a lot of anti-aging products out there these days — with wildly varying degrees of scientific support,” said senior author Trey Ideker, Ph.D., professor at UC San Diego School of Medicine and Moores Cancer Center. “But how do you know if a product will truly extend your life without waiting 40 years or so? What if you could instead measure your age-associated methylation patterns before, during and after the intervention to see if it’s doing anything?”

The formula provides a new method for determining the age of a cell, tissue, or organism based on a readout of its epigenetics — chemical modifications like methylation, which influence which genes are “off” or “on” without altering the inherited genetic sequence itself. Essentially, redefining a biological clock.

Epigenetic changes provide scientists with clues to a genome’s age. Think along the lines of how wrinkles on a person’s face provide clues to their age and you get the picture, y’all.

Dogs are an interesting animal to study, Ideker said. Given how closely they live with us, perhaps more than any other animal, a dog’s environmental and chemical exposures are very similar to humans, and they receive nearly the same levels of health care. It’s also important that we better understand their aging process, he said, as veterinarians frequently use the old 1:7 years ratio to determine a dog’s age and use that information to guide diagnostic and treatment decisions.

What emerged from the study is a graph that can be used to match up the age of your dog with the comparable human age (check the Tom Hanks chart above). The comparison is not a 1:7 ratio over time. Especially when dogs are young, they age rapidly compared to humans. A one-year-old dog is similar to a 30-year-old human. A four-year-old dog is similar to a 52-year-old human. Then by seven years old, dog aging slows.

You heard that right…when your dog graduates “puppyhood”, he’s the equivalent of a 30-year-old man.

“This makes sense when you think about it — after all, a nine-month-old dog can have puppies, so we already knew that the 1:7 ratio wasn’t an accurate measure of age,” Ideker said.

We’re all for science reinventing the wheel, but the new math will result in a lot of headaches.

Overheard at a coffee shop:

“The Squeeze”: Dog News In 60 Seconds

• 💨 An over-gassed flight?! This couple wants a refund after sitting next to a farting dog for 13 hours on an International flight.

• 🏃 A family rushing to save a dog’s life was held at gunpoint by police! Priorities, officers! Priorities!

• 🤦 “Um…that’s not my kid.” A family in Virginia took home the wrong dog from day care, and yes…we’re obviously all for a canine Parent Trap.

• 😇 “Sit means sit!”… some breeds get it. Others don’t. See if you have one of the top 5 most obedient dog breeds.

• 🛬 Remember the dog that was lost at the Atlanta airport? Well, Delta wants to give whoever finds Maia a $5,000 reward. We don’t want to make any assumptions, but it must be their fluffing fault. Update: they found Maia.

• 💉 Legends come and go, but inking them to your body lasts forever… must be what Seth Rogen was thinking when he got a tattoo of his late dog Zelda.

• 🪪 Did a pedestrian really hurl a bag of dog poo at a DUI suspect? Yes. Was it the reason the suspect was apprehended? No. Is it still awesome? Yes.

Today’s Last Laugh:

I want what he’s having…

@chipgirlhere